Loving you deeply, loving you secretly
by bellakanusti
Summary: This is a One-sided Kurtbastian story, told from Sebastian's POV. But Klainers gonna enjoy it too. From the first time he ever layed eyes on Kurt, to the last time. This fic is written with inspiration from a love song, by the danish artist Saybia "day after tommorow".. I strongly recommend to listen to the song, while reading, to set the mode.


This fic is written with inspiration from a love song, by the danish artist Saybia.

I **strongly** recommend to listen to the song, while reading, to set the mode.

Song can be found on YouTube , Saybia "The day after tommorow"

 **Loving you deeply loving you secretly.**

I stood leaning up against the bar, wondering how it ever came to this.

A couple of days ago I had been sure of my plan and now it all seemed so lost.

First time:

It had been a regular tuesday and I had been in the middle of organizing another warbler number, when suddenly all the other boys began screaming and run over towards the corridor doors.

As I turned around, I saw a boy, curly dark hair, big brown eyes and as the boy turned around, my eyes landed on his oh so fine ass.

I heard a couple of the other boys referring to him as Blaine.

And I had heard of this boy, several times.

He sings like a dream.

He is so nice.

He was the best singer the warblers ever have.

He moves so gracefully when he dances.

You have to meet him someday.

And apparently that day, was today.

I quickly introduced myself to this Blaine. And I must give it to the other warblers, the boy seemed nice. But obvious to what happened around him. Or at least to my pretty heavy flirting, but he didn't seemed to fully getting that I was coming onto him though.

But I still somehow ended up convincing Blaine to meet with me later in the Lima bean.

And that was when it happened.

I had sat talking - flirting - drinking coffee with Blaine, when _he_ came in.

 _ **Please tell me why do birds**_

 _ **sing when you're near me**_

 _ **Sing when you're close to me**_

Second time:

I stood leaning up against the bar, wondering how it ever came to this.

A couple of days ago I had been sure of my plan and now it all seemed so lost.

I looked through the door, and I spotted them.

Looked when Blaine and _him_ made their way towards me.

 _He_ moved so casually, like _he_ was made to walk on this earth forever, and then there was Blaine, who was walking beside _him_ , holding _his_ hand.

I made a quick move to get a drink for Blaine and one for _him_. I Smiled- blushed - when _he_ accepted with a small smile and a thank you.

 _ **They say that I'm a fool**_

 _ **For loving you deeply**_

 _ **loving you secretly**_

I asked Blaine to dance, because then maybe my mind would be on another thing than _him_.

As I danced, I could feel the music in my head and the heat from the bodies around me. I loved this.

Loved how the air was thick with the smell of sweat and sex. I smiled at Blaine as we got closer and grinded my body against his. Blaine seemed just as clueless as he had been the day we meet and just smiled back.

I laughed a little, because maybe I could do this, maybe it all had been something I had made up in my head.

But then I looked over towards the bar and saw another boy, man? Sitting beside _him_.

 _ **But I crash in my mind**_

 _ **whenever you are near**_

I felt a hand brushing against my ass, and I was shaken out of my starring? How long had I stopped dancing.

I turned around, to see who it had been, but i just saw a bunch of strangers, dancing against each other, enjoying the music.

I wanted that.

I wanted to feel that free, to just surrender myself to that.

But i couldn't, not since _he_ walked into my life.

 _ **Getting deaf, dumb and blind**_

 _ **just drowning in despair**_

I must have dozed off again, because suddenly I heard Blaine whispering something in my ear.

What it was, I didn't get.

Because I was lost.

Lost in _him._

 _ **I am lost in your flame**_

 _ **it's burning like the sun**_

Suddenly _he_ got up and looked out towards the dancefloor. _His_ eyes scanning the room, stopping at something.

Blaine! And then a smile bloomed upon _his_ face.

Blaine takes a hold on one of _his_ hands, as _he_ walks over.

 _He_ offers me a smile, just before he turns his full attention to Blaine.

 _ **And I call out your name**_

 _ **The moment you are gone**_

All I can see before my eyes is _his_ smile, _his_ celestial smile.

I felt my heart began to puod really load.

Louder than it had ever done before.

It was like it began beating louder than the music.

And it felt like it could burst out my chest.

 _ **Please tell me why can't I**_

 _ **breathe when you're near me**_

 _ **Breathe when you're close to me**_

I see how _he_ laughs with Blaine, how he smiles when Blaine looks _him_ in the eyes.

I don't feel like being here anymore.

So i just walk away, out in the night.

Home.

Third time:

The third time i see _him, he_ is sitting in the Lima bean. Drinking coffee, with Blaine.

I can't explain why, but somehow I see myself walking over and say hello.

I try not to acknowledge _him_ , because i know that I will be so lost for words, if _he_ so much as looks at me.

But then Blaine leaves for coffee and i'm doomed.

It only takes seconds after Blaine has left, before _he_ , starts talking.

And though _his_ voice makes my blood runs faster and my heart beats louder.

What _he_ says is nothing like i expected it to be.

 _He_ is insulting me, thinking I'm trying to get Blaine away from him.

I try desperately to keep the conversation going, because at least _he_ is talking to me.

I can't help but grin a little and lean back in my chair - Probably with the biggest smile on my face.

 _ **I know, you know I'm lost**_

 _ **in loving you deeply**_

 _ **loving you secretly**_

 _ **secretly**_

After way too short time, Blaine is back and asking some question - which, I don't know.

But as I see _him_ just stare at Blaine, I have to do something. And I find myself saying we have to go out again dancing sometime soon.

But I know that's not gonna happen.

Fourth time:

It's Sectionals and I have just left the stage and am walking towards the warblers, in which I will be seated with, for the rest of the competition.

The curtains on stage starts open up and the next performance is about to get going.

But I was not prepared for this.

For _him_.

 _His_ voice cuts through my bones and takes a grip around my heart.

 _ **But I crash in my mind**_

 _ **Whenever you are near**_

 _ **getting deaf, dumb and blind**_

 _ **just drowning in despair**_

As some girl takes over the song, my eyes can't seem to focus on anything other than _him._

The way _he_ just owns the stage.

The way _he_ just moves on stage.

The whole scene and all the other people fades away.

I only see _him._

The way _he_ suddenly seems to look right at me.

 _ **I am lost in your flame**_

 _ **it's burning like the sun**_

 _ **and I call out your name**_

 _ **The moment you are gone**_

Another tune hits and another song begins.

It's all dark.

I can't see _him_ anywhere.

My heart acs.

 _ **Tomorrow(say it all tomorrow)**_

 _ **I'll tell it all tomorrow (say it all tomorrow)**_

 _ **Or the day after tomorrow (say it all today)**_

 _ **I'm sure I'll tell you then**_

The last time:

I don't get how I agreed to this.

I know that this will means I never gets to tell _him._

And now, now it's almost too late.

I see the way the rose petals falls from above and the way _he_ smiles, when _his_ eyes lands on they man in yellow.

I don't know when I stopped singing along.

But I did.

As did my heart.

 _ **Well, I crash in my mind**_

 _ **Whenever you are near**_

 _ **getting deaf, dumb and blind**_

 _ **Just drowning in despair**_

I see _him_ in tears.

Happy tears as _he_ almost chokes out the answer.

The answer, I still had a little hope would be no.

But it isn't.

 _Kurt_ said yes.

But not to me.

 _ **Well, I am lost in your flame**_

 _ **It's burning like the sun**_

 _ **And I call out your name**_

 _ **The moment you are gone**_


End file.
